It’s crazy, it’s deranged.
“Finally, it came in!” I whooped, jumping in glee at the heavy brown package that the mail left on the door. It was simply decorated, a golden stamp of a chimera profile in front.
I picked it up and carried it inside, where, after dropping off the other bags I had with me on the living room floor, I quickly opened it. Inside there was another box, white this time, with the same glittering stamp decorating the lid. I opened the box.
In it there was a golden CD case with the words, “True to Form” in thick Ariel-like font on the top (“For all of your role-playing needs,” it read in smaller letters under it). An image of two guys, a warrior fighting a minotaur, was on the bottom.
I took out the case and saw a black envelope under it. It was sealed with a thick glob of red wax with the same logo embossing it. I broke the seal and took out a card.
Dear Sir, (it ran)
We are very pleased to have our business with you. As a token of our thanks, we are offering a free week as a trial period. If the game or its creations are not to your liking, feel free to call the number on the back of the card, and we will give you a full refund.
I raised my eyebrows in slight confusion and turned the card over. As promised, a telephone number was printed there as well as an activation number for the free trial. I shrugged and went to the computer, where I put in the disk into the DVD drive. The computer went through the usual motions for a few moments, and then a splash screen of the program positioned itself on the monitor.
It was an image of a hugely-built, 3D-rendered anthro wolf, dressed in a tight-fitting tanktop and equally tight pair of spandex shorts. A small play button was at the bottom of the screen. I dragged the cursor over it and clicked.
The wolf smiled and waved. “Welcome to ‘True to Form’,” he said in a rich tenor. “I am your guide, Carlos. Please wait a moment while the program installs.” He froze while the Windows hourglass turned upside down a few times.
A registration screen came up, asking for the usual data, and then another screen came up, with Carlos leaning against it.
“Simply make your character any way you make it,” Carlos said, gesturing to the screen. “If you need help, just press the question marks at the side of the forms.”
I started to input information. Name? Joe Moose, a character that I have been role-playing for a while. Gender, male. I made him the way I wanted him to be: hugely muscular, a level 52 barbarian with high stats in strength and charisma. I clicked the ‘Submit’ button.
I was asked to put in an activation number, and put in the one for the free trial. A flicker on the screen and a timer started to tick down, showing me that, indeed, I had one week of time.
“That took long enough,” a deep voice said behind me. “I was wondering if I was ever going to be real.”
Scared out of my wits, I quickly turned around to see this huge creature sitting on my bed dressed in a tight shirt and shorts. He was really huge, almost bodybuilder-thick, though no one would have such a thick musclegut. He was covered in wiry brown fur. A thick muzzle was placed where the mouth was supposed to be, and my eyes went wide in shock over the pair of heavy antlers on his head.
“What in the nine hells are you?!” I yelled out.
“Joe,” the creature rumbled. He smiled. “You created me.”
“Like hell I did!”
He pointed towards the monitor. “You created a moose by the name of Joe. Am I right?”
I turned around and opened the profile page. Carlos appeared. “Feel free to take a look at this, but remember that you cannot change anything until the time period ends.”
What?! I thought as I scrolled down a page I have never written before. Name was Joe, yes, but other information came in. His was homosexual? He loved getting bottomed?! The hell!
“You know, if you want to…” Joe began.
“Shut up you freak!” I said, turning around and looking at him. More words froze on my tongue.
For he was laying down on my bed, his shorts shimmied down a bit and rubbing a long, really meaty cock. I gulped at the size of the thing, feeling rather inadequate over my own equipment. “I-I need to make a phone call.” I stammered out. I grabbed the card and went to the kitchen phone.
The number instantly connected. “Welcome to Kimera Enterprises,” a bright voice chirped. “This is Karen, where can I direct the call?”
“Help! There’s a giant moose on my bed!”
“Please hold while I connect you to Customer Service.”
A low moan was heard coming from the bedroom, then a rumbling, “Fuck…”
“Hello, this is Phil, how may I help you?”
“Yes!” I almost screamed out, “There is a moose on my bed. A huge one, jerking himself off!”
“I’m very sorry to hear that, sir,” Phil said in a non-committal tone. “To further assistance, I need your name and address.” I told them to him, which he inputted on his computer.
“Sir,” Phil said, “Have you read the instruction manual located in the CD case?”
“No…I didn’t know it had one.”
“Did you read the FAQ list in the program?”
“No I didn’t! What’s wrong?”
“Sir, although you have the free trial, you were supposed to have read all documentation before installing.” He continued over my protesting. “At this moment, we are asking you to go through the FAQs before calling us back for any kind of problems. As quickly as possible, sir, to avoid any sort of legal trouble between us and you.”
The conversation was interrupted by a loud bellow, which was followed by more heavy moaning.
“Can I help you with anything else, sir?”
“Uh…” I said as my head turned towards the bedroom.
“Thank you for calling Kimera Enterprises. Have a good day.” A quiet click disconnected the line.
“Wait!” I yelled into the phone. “You haven’t helped me out!” I shook the phone furiously and hung up.
Then I heard another huge bellow and a thick splatter. I ran to the bedroom to find Joe cumming furiously all over him and the bed. Viscous juices were staining the walls and the sheets under him while the moose writing in pleasure, his eyes pinched shut, and panting heavily as he kept on stroking his member.
I didn’t know what to do. My feet were frozen in place at this image. He moaned again, and then opened an eye.
“You’re welcome to join in if you want, dude,” he said. Then he shuddered and shot another heavy stream of cum on his already stained shirt. “Fuck…”
I ran out of the room and back into the kitchen, my mind reeling. I had this feeling that I made some kind of mistake. Could the software be faulty? What was going on here?
Heavy footsteps were heard and then I saw Joe, totally nude, enter the kitchen.
“Dude, I’m gonna get a shower.” He sniffed an armpit. “I reek of sex. Not that you would mind, eh?” He winked and flexed an arm. “I also put my clothes in your hamper, if you don’t mind. Hope your stuff is gonna fit me.”
“Wait, what?” But he didn’t hear me, and continued.
“And I hope you went grocery shopping, ‘cause I’m hungry.” He patted his gut, the fur already matted with his juices. “Well, the shower calls.” And he walked off, showing a thick back and a thicker rump.
I put my head down in my hands in exasperation.